It’s a cold winter's morning when three mates are getting ready to got a camping trip. After an hour of packing the car they finally start driving. They plan on going to the Waipakihi Valley in the middle of winter which in the past has proved to be a very bad idea as in the past there have 4 casualties when people have gone unprepared and ended up stranded. They arrive at the camp site in the pitch black of night. They try to start a fire and as the flame flickered and went out they all heard a scream.
Really good but next time you should think about putting more describing words in.
ReplyDeleteHi Sam,
ReplyDeleteI like your story, to make it better you could maybe add adjectives, and different words other than that it's good!!
Come check out my blog:
http://ssamreenv.blogspot.co.nz/
Hi Sam,
ReplyDeleteI like your story, maybe to make it better you could add more description and some adjectives.
Come Check Out My Blog at:
http://ssmariat.blogspot.co.nz/
Thanks Maria
Hey sam
ReplyDeleteFantastic story , really liked it but maybe if you put so juicy words in there it might make it better
Come see my blog at http://ssethanb.blogspot.co.nz/
Hey Sam,
ReplyDeleteI like your story it had a very good story line.
come check out my blog http://sstamzinr.blogspot.co.nz/